Salads that don’t contain lettuce

Posted On May 25, 2008

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments Dropped 3 responses

There’s another Holy Trinity in regards to Lutherans. This involves salads, however none of these salads involve any sort of lettuce (or much nutritional value for that matter). The three salads in this trinity are macaroni, potato, and the holiest of them all……jello. These three salads are made in all sorts of variations and those who make them swear their specific recipe is THE way to make it. This is often because these recipes are passed down from generation to generation like an heirloom. It is not uncommon for a Lutheran woman to use a recipe card actually written by her grandmother to prepare the recipe. These salads are often served at church potlucks (a future post) and the potluck serves as a competition, based upon how much salad is left at the end of the meal. Nothing is more hurtful to a Lutheran than having only one serving taken out of a salad, most likely done by an obligated husband or child.

Remember, when tasting one of these Lutheran salads, it is important not to criticize the dish, as this would be like indirectly insulting someone’s grandmother. Make a compliment no matter what, as the Lutheran will see it as you honoring their ancestors. A simple “I really like how the dill perfectly complements the potatoes” will endear you to the Lutheran forever.

One warning though, be on the lookout for those impostor dishes that were purchased at a deli. Things to look out for: not enough mayonnaise (another future post), fruit spread out too evenly in the jello, potato skins scrubbed too properly, jello not properly coagulated, or the dish says “Reser’s” on the side. In the case of the latter, it is best to ask the Lutheran if something has been bothering him or her, as the person is too occupied to even make it look like his or her food is homemade.

Jello Salad


3 Responses to “Salads that don’t contain lettuce”

  1. Anonymous

    Is this all you can think of?

  2. lutheranismo

    They’re coming!

  3. Lynne

    We Lutherans love laughing at these Midwestern Lutheran stereotypes as much as anyone, but you REALLY need to get out among contemporary Lutherans a LOT more!!!

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