The post of hygiene applies entirely to the observance of communion. Contrary to its name, communion isn’t very communal at all. Perhaps due to the nature of individualism more prevalent in Protestantism over Catholicism, Lutheran communion is slightly different than the one given in the Catholic church.

The Catholic WayThe Protestant Way

The Catholic Way vs. The Lutheran Way

While the Catholics administer communion wine in a communal goblet/chalice/pimp cup that is sanitized for your protection with a simple wipe of a cloth between drinkers, the Lutherans give everyone wine in a plastic mini-shot glass, just like how Jesus did it himself. This way, no germs are spread and the church garbage can is full of plastic slathered in the blood of Jesus Christ. Luckily, unlike the Catholics, Lutherans don’t believe in transubstantiation, feeling that communion is done for the sake of commemoration.

I’d really like to see a study conducted to see who is more likely to be sick on Monday, Catholics or Lutherans. Also, if a Lutheran attends a Catholic service ( because they’re likely visiting their part-Irish cousins) and they say they won’t participate in the communion because they feel like they’re intruding, it’s only because they’re afraid of getting someone else’s germs.

Also, what’s the deal with those little papery wafers?